Live Smart
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Published: July 11, 2008
Discerning customer Giles Gill took time out to test drive a smart car complete with Project Kahn wheels.
8 feet long and over 5 feet wide, the Smart Car is a compact vehicle that has had its rear end surgically removed.
“I’m never going to get into that,” I exclaim before the imposing Snowy Kahn reassures me: “It’s a good little car and the wheels are excellent. Take it for a test drive and you’ll love it.”
Sure the wheels were impressive, but come on, a smart car? Moi?
I wasn’t impressed.
I turn towards Snowy’s tubby frame and a totally random quote is forthcoming: “You would have been useful as a goalkeeper mate. You have totally blocked my view. Actually, have you ever thought of being a wrestler?”
The expected tongue lashing from Snowy did not materialize and he bundles me in the car.
As I fold my six-foot – frame into the metallic-black Smart— I am pleasantly surprised; I do not feel like akin to a lone sardine in a tin can – it’s rather spacious.
I honestly thought a big man like me would never drive a tiny car. At least that’s what I kept repeating to myself.
As Snowy waves back a cheery goodbye: “Eat dirt, I’m off,” I say before he shouts out: “Don’t curb the wheels.”
How would a one-liter engine, three cylinders, and a pony-ride-worthy 71 horsepower, fare among the bling of Bradford and the high fliers in Leeds?
What would it mean to take a Smart, a derived icon of narrow European streets and exorbitant fuel taxes — to feel at home around Yorkshire – complete with a set of Kahn wheels?
Well; British masculinity is defined by two ideals: size and speed. The rogue hormone known as testosterone thrives on horsepower, curb weight, and the cubic footage of cargo beds.
Firstly, I nipped into Bradford, found a parking space with ease and enjoyed a coffee with a friend. This was followed by a stress-free drive around Leeds and Wakefield due to the fact that I had finally become a babe magnet.
Were I single, this would have been truly sensational. Years of driving a number of cars in and around Yorkshire, I’ve never been approached by a gorgeous woman. In the Smart, it seemed to happen anytime I stopped. I was bonding with people: “Those Kahn wheels?” said one group of young men, “Where did you get them from?” I explained how I was reviewing the car what they called a “cruise” was thoroughly enjoyable.
Although I was in despair when I heard the English language being mutilated by such words – I felt much better when a stunning young woman complemented me on the wheels in such a sweet and melodic voice.
Undeterred she gave me her contact details and asked for someone at Kahn to call her……. Lucky Ba****d whoever rings her.
After parking the car at the White Rose Shopping Centre in Leeds, I engage in a light hearted conversation with another woman: “Where did you buy your car from?” “Are the wheels standard?”
I once again explain I am not a sales man. However, I did not help matters when I asked for her details (to pass on to Snowy).
“You are a very good sales man.” She said, before roaring into a rapturous fit of laughter.
I did not know whether to feel insulted or just play along and nod my head and grind my teeth.
I came across the woman once again whilst I was in the centre; I was the centre of attention amongst her entourage of yummy mummies; everyone wanted a piece of me, yes moi!
One woman asked her husband to take a look at the car out in the car park; he obliged even if an entourage of testosterone fuelled men accompanied him to leer at the car.
I shrugged off: “I’ve seen toy cars bigger than that,” and a rotund gentleman exclaimed in a rather broad Yorkshire accent: “Tha could get ter to Lundun and back in that wit out payin’ much in petty.”
Thanks for the observation you beacon of intelligence- you pyramid of piffle!
However, most of the men were complementary about the car and the Kahn wheels.
I rather enjoyed my drive. The legroom is ample, its two seats pitched higher than many other passenger cars, and the wheels truly make the car stand out.
I hand the keys back to Snowy and before I can get a word in edgeways he exclaims: “Yes, good little run?”
Sounding suitably presidential I say: “Not bad, not bad at all Snowy.”
I have a bite to eat, and attend to some business with Afzal before I bid farewell to Snowy and the team.
As I enter the car park, I fondly recall my experience. The Kahn wheels certainly add their own persona to the Smart by complementing a vehicle with style and individuality that is perfect for city living.
The cleverly evolved wheels give the smart a fresh, masculine appearance, and yet it retains its unmistakable character complete with maximum comfort, agility, safety and ecology.
I may have lost my smart; but I jump into my Range Rover, complete with Kahn wheels and drive off.
Life is not that bad after all.
SPECIFICATION
WHEELS + TYRES
- Kahn RS-R 5.5×15 Front and 6.5×15 Rear (Designed to accommodate original centre cap)
- Valve Caps
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Interior Components
- Project Kahn Interior Package
- Project Kahn Piano black Fascia Trim
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Safety and Security
- Pentagon privacy glass
- Suspension + Braking
- Project Kahn Lowering Suspension
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Kahn Accessories
- Kahn Lightweight Golfing Umbrella with Carbon Fibre Shaft
- Kahn Keyring
